GOING ADMIRAL FAN PAGE!

I am. HAHA

Wasn’t I just so dearly missed?

There were multiple things keeping me off for the many moon cycles I’ve been absent

• The multiple lawsuits I was charged with for my “excessive” affection for certain bandmembers
•  I was committed
• I may or may not have forgotten the password what with all the *%^TREATMENT!@*&^$%
• I went to Berlin to find myself… Married the first whore I saw and we are now the loving parents of a beautiful baby girl. Hanz and I are thrilled (I met her as Hannah)

I want to issue a proclomation to my followers, especially the members of my favorite band.

I AM back

I AM “cazy”… maybe more so than ever

And I thirst for the sweet sweet vengeance that is… Intrusive journalism. *licks lips*

I managed to find a way into Connor Buckley’s basement one night, where I spent many an hour digging a secret tunnel straight into what I’ve come to call “my room”.

I.E. Connor’s Crawlspace.

Which means Im totally privvy to any and all of the twee tweity what which goes on in there.

Did you know he has an obsession toward Audrey Hepburn? Yeah.

Anyway, he found me. Time for an interview!

Me- Damn, you are GOOD.

Connor- Mornin’.

M- Zohmygod. Ohmygod. I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

C- Well, Issac Brock once did say…”Fire it up”.

M- Do you think we’ve ever got a chance together??

C- No, strange closet-man.

M- Well, thats going in my journal of disappointment. Uhm….is it my looks? My personality? My obsession problems I don’t have??

C- Well…ya know…its just that Im going through a hard time, what with Regina and I sort of, for lack of a better word, being done. Its not you…its just shit timing.

M- Ohh…thats sooo sweet of you to say. So, god, any new commandmen-erm, I mean, singles coming out soon?

C- Well yeah, actually, we’ve got…oh wait. Did you just call me god, by any chance?

M- Yeah, totes.

C- Uh, we might release recorded versions of, uh, White Roses, and all that other shit I wrote too. Mayber.

M- *picks up Trash Bass* This is one beauty of a…thing you have here. Is it a…waffle iron? Some kind of sex toy, perhaps?

C- Its, uh, a…no, THE Trash Bass. It was found. In the garbage. End

M- End? Yes my lord *Bludgeons Connor with trash bass and hops out window*

• Fuck
• Those
• Guys

As we all already know, GOING ADMIRAL (and not GO ADMIRAL) are the best maritime musicians this part of the globe. BUT an unworthy challenger has weaseled onto the scene fully clad in their plaid.  These snapless champions of flannel, a favorite cloth material of the band (Connor’s bedsheets are flannel *whiff*), are of course Going Plaidmiral.  No word yet from either band on their feelings for the other but rest assured, THERE WILL BE BLOOD.

Here is a list of confirmed members:

Kelvin Huffman- Guitar

Lyle “Pren” Donahugh- Bass 

Anderson Milk Jjerly- Drums

Copper Jason Baxter- Vocals

These words were said by lead singer of the most popular indie band of the week, Going Admiral, shortly before he decided to sing some song about flying butter and some cold-ass earth.

Only four people showed up.

One of them was Eric McGuckin’s mother.

The other three were either asian or had NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

Some dazzled with fury were the band members (Especially Kenny. He was mad as hell, yo.) that they forgot the very soul of The Plaid-a-pus Flannel Conundrum.

WELL.

Yeah, how could they forget that one? Jesus.

Anyways, show up to shows more often people. If I can make it there to stand in the treeline, ever-so-gently carresing effigies I made for them, SURELY some other losers can stand in plain sight.

Fuckin’ Harvest Fest.

So I recently confronted lead bassist Kyle “Nerp” Donnovan in a dark alleyway with a piece of sharp cheddar, asking for an interview.

Being a very sensible man, he was more than happy to oblige, with only a tiny glint of fear in his eyes.

(puts down cheese, takes out tape recorder)

Me- So hey, here I am with Nerp, the talented bassist of Going Admiral. And let me tell you, what an honor it is for me. How ya doing’, man?

Nerp- Nerp nerp, nerpity nerp nerp. Nerp nerping nerp?

Me- Well, you know Im not really happy to admit it, but I do agree.

Nerp- Ah, nerpish. Nerp nerp nerp, nerp nerp neeeeerp.

Me- Oh hell nah, bro. How did she do that?

Nerp- NERP. FUCKIN’ NERP!

Me- Jeez. Did that interfere with any of your practices at all? Was it a distraction during the course of your regular life, perhaps?

Nerp- Nerpily.

Me- Well, I think thats about all the time we have, sea bass. Any final words for all those aspiring musicians out there?

Nerp- Nerp, nerp, and nerp nerp. Nerping nerp nerp the nerp, unless nerp nerp doesn’t nerp. Nerp, but dont ever even nerp when you nerp. And don’t forget to nerp your nerp whenever you nerp.

(Kyle then runs away and fades into the background somewhere)

Sadly, as the interview went on, he seemed to lapse into some kind of nonsense speak, saying words that I didn’t understand. I tranlated it as best as I could for you readers out there not familar with Nerp-speak, however.

   He seems like a great guy, huh?  I think he’s my favorite. ;D

So, I dunno if anyone has heard the latest rumor, but…

My infallible sources (I.E. standing outside their window) tell me that Going Admiral is in a heated discussion with an old band member from their old train wreck of a band, the Icebr…Iceblisters? Icebusters? Lets go with that last one.

ANYWHO, this one guy sounded really freakin’ annoying from what I heard him say.I don’t like him.

                                            At all.

He’s got this high-pitched voice and just keeps talking about “destroying the ozone layer in out space” or some shit like that. I think his name was Brodysaurus, but it could be my own mind decieving me.

Surely Going Admiral, as great as they may be, cannot recruit such a god among the Brodycore genre.

It’d be musical suicide, in my expert opinion.

But hey, Im just a deranged, obsessed fan. What do I know? The one-hit-wonder lyrical genius could in fact do something cool, for once.

…or not.

Welcome, ladies and possible gentlemen. I am…well, I am Goingadmiraladmirer, if you are too stupid to have realized who’s blog this is.

But I’m sorry, thats a bad way to start us off. Please forgive me, lets try that again.

This is the most comprehensive and most likely THE most awesome (and only) fanpage for the band all about kicking ass, eating flan, and wearing flannel: Going Admiral.

Thats right. They are such an epic band that they get bold-underlined. If that doesn’t make you regret not listening to their music, read on. If it does…well, don’t stop reading now!

…actually thats all I got for now. Sorry. *cough*

But there will be more to come! Much…much more. Possibly too much for the likes of you.

Tune in next time for all the latest and greatest info on Going Admiral!

This is a random depraved fan, singing off. You stay classy, San Diego.